Por: ©Dr. José Abraham De Jesús-Rivera
A. HEALING THE GRIEF WOUND
|STAGES||GRIEF WORK TASKS||HELP NEEDED|
1. Experiencing shock, numbness, denial and
gradually accepting the reality of the loss.
A ministry of caring and
and spiritual comfort.
|Anger and Guilt||
2. Experiencing, expressing and working
through painful feelings,--e.g. guilt,
remorse, apathy, anger, resentment,
yearning, despair anxiety, emptiness,
depression, loneliness, panic, disorientation,
loss of clear identity, physical symptoms, etc.
A ministry of caring
listening to encourage
3. Gradual acceptance of the loss and
putting one's lifeback together minus
what was lost, making decisions
and coping with the new reality; unlearning
old ways of satisfying one's needs and
learning new ways to satisfy the needs.
Saying "goodbye" and reinventing
one's life energy with other relationships.
A ministry of crisis care
facilitating reality testing,
and supportin the difficult
a new reality
4. Putting one's loss in a wider context of meaning
and faith: learning from the loss.
A ministry of facilitating
Finding new meaning
5. Reaching our to others experien-cing similar
losses for mutual help.
A ministry of enabling
outreach to others.
B. QUESTIONS TO PROMOTE CATHARSIS:
1. What have you been feeling since the funeral?
2. What sort of memories keep coming back?
3. How often do you let yourself cry?
4. Have you have had trouble keeping going?
5. Would you tell me more about the way he/she died?
C. TWO FEELINGS THAT HINDERS THE GRIEF PROCESS:
Guilt (remorse and shame)
Anger (resentment and rage)
D. THE GRIEF WOUND CANNOT BE HEAL FULLY UNTIL ONE HAS:
Accepted the reality of the loss,
Surrender one's emotional tie to the person,
Begun to form other relationships, and
Provide new sources of interpersonal satisfaction.
(Grief is a normal healing process when confronted with a wounding experience.)
E. SIGNS OF DANGER (INDICATE PATHOLOGICAL GRIEF)
Increased withdraw from relationships and normal activities,
The absence of mourning,
Severe depression that do not lift,
Severe psychosomatic problems,
Severe, undiminishing guilt,
Anger, phobias, or loss of interest on life,
Continuing escape by means of drugs or alcohol,
Feeling of inner deadness.
F. SETTING UP A GRIEF HEALING GROUP
Inform the congregation about the loss
Train lay leaders in support techniques
Set up a grief helping group
G. FIVE THINGS THAT HELP PEOPLE WHO ARE DYING:
Having a small caring community
Completing as many of the unfinished issues
Doing the complex grief work of dying
Having a faith system, a sense of trust and at-home in the universe
Having a setting where one can die with dignity.